Valentine’s Day can be one the most fun days of the year for couples. It can also be one of the worst. If things are going good and your marriage seems to be solid, it can be a bright spot in a somewhat mundane month. If your marriage is not what you want it to be, it can be a frustrating and even discouraging day.
Even if your marriage is good, there is always room for improvement. If you are struggling in that relationship, one of the best things you can do is to be intentional about improving your marriage. Every marriage needs slight adjustments on a regular basis. Some marriages need major corrections. Either way, finding a way to improve it can prove very beneficial to the long term health of the relationship. Here are four simple ways that you can start using today to improve your marriage.
Make It About Them
We are selfish beings. We can convince ourselves that we are doing something for someone else when it really is about us. Men buy their wife lingerie for Valentine’s. Yes, I am sure that was at the top of her list. It’s possible that what she wanted was for her husband to have a long conversation with her; recognizing her value in the relationship. Women get their husband a sappy card when most likely what he wanted was sex. So both find disappointment because they gave something that was about themselves instead of about the other person. Be intentional. Think about them and not just yourself. You will be surprised by their response when they realize you are putting them first.
I have heard it said that every couple should go to a counseling session at least once per year no matter how good they believe their marriage is. Counseling should not be viewed as some activity that has to be done in secret. A great wealth of assistance and wisdom can be found in counseling. You can find professional counselors in almost every town. If you do not feel comfortable with a professional counselor or do not think you can afford it, most clergy will offer some type of basic marital advice, even if it is only to serve as a mediator for a conversation. Don’t allow your pride to keep you from getting the assistance your marriage needs. It is the most important earthly relationship you have.
Be Around Other Couples Working On Their Marriage
This is one of the most important activities you can participate in for your marriage. Be around other couples who are striving to have good marriages. If the only people you are around are people in toxic relationships, that might be a key indicator as to why you are struggling in yours. There are no perfect marriages, but there are many committed couples who want what is best for their relationship and are working it out. You can often find these relationships in church or maybe even your workplace. They may be neighbors or other parents where you children participate in activities. Being intentional about the people you hang around will have lasting effects on the relationship that you have.
There are plenty of resources available to help you with your marriage. There are books, videos studies, courses, conferences and more. These are things that you can do privately and if applied, can put your marriage on a better track. I have found over my lifetime that a book or a simple video or sermon has spoken to me in specific ways that allowed me to make changes that improved my relationship. It is one of the reasons why I spend much of my time creating resources such as this blog to help people find the help they need for their relationship.
Wanting to help people have the best marriage they can is one of the reasons why I created the 30 Day Marriage Healing Journey. 30 days of specific and practical teaching about the timeless principles that support every successful marriage. You will learn:
- How to stop fighting (and start talking again)
- How to build (or rebuild) trust when it has been lost
- What your spouse really needs from you (hint: they probably haven’t told you what it is)
- The power of forgiveness and how it can transform your marriage.
- And so much more.
But, that isn’t all.
This week only, you can get the 30 day marriage healing journey for Half-Price. But that isn’t all. I am also throwing in:
- 6+ hours of additional video bonus teaching
- A free copy of my book Four Keys to a Successful Marriage
- And, early bird access to a destination Marriage Retreat happening later this year (I will be sending you details soon)
All of this for less than $50.
Make this Valentine’s day one you will never forget.