The 2020 XO Marriage Conference was fantastic. My wife and I sat with over 50 other couples at our church to learn from some of the best speakers on the topic of marriage. Attending conferences can feel like you are drinking from a fire hydrant. One of the best ways to retain the information is to review my notes a few times in the days that follow. Another way to improve my retention is to write about some of the things I learned. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the conference.



Jimmy Evans

  • You can only be intimate in an atmosphere of safety.
  • If we could reach our own potential God would not have given us a spouse.
  • Lukewarm Christians are a bad advertisement for a great God.
  • Any relationship that is not growing is dying.
  • Selfish people are brutalized in marriage.
  • God doesn’t use shame. Satan does.

Michael Todd

  • The place of burial and the place of planting look the same for a season.

Robert Morris

  • God created marriage to kill you. (Some context would help here. You cannot be one in spirit without first dying to self)

Mark Driscoll

  • Everything God tries to build Satan tries to break.
  • If you do not lead your family, Satan will.

Bianca Olthoff

  • God rewards those who just don’t give up.


Dave and Ashley Willis

  • No possession is worth sacrificing the peace of the home.
  • Don’t punish your spouse for being wired differently.


Though these were spoken in the context of larger lessons, maybe one of these quotes will speak to you about something you can be working on in your marriage. Every one of us can have the marriage of our dreams.

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